Monday, September 19, 2016

Small Things

Good grief.  It's been months since I've written anything here!  I don't have much time today to share anything super exciting or profound, but I do have a little something to add to the blog.  

This photo.  
Always
The photo is of a magnet that my daughter got for her birthday.  It contains a simple message but one that has spoken volumes to me since the day I read it.  

Soon after Fiona's birthday, our schedule was gearing up to be incredibly full.  Exactly that happened.  We went from not much going on all summer to school, sports and everything else in between.  Not one day goes by that we don't have something on the schedule.  I haven't felt calm, cool and collected as I had most of the summer.  Instead, I've been rush, rush, rushed feeling harried and a tad overstressed.  I love being busy and seeing the kids actively engaged in activities, but we're almost too busy.  Something has to give, but what? 

When I first read the message on that magnet, I immediately thought of Mother Teresa (the quote is attributed to her).  Growing up, I remember Mother Teresa to be such a simple and peaceful woman.  On the most stressful days, I yearn for the peace that I imagine Mother Teresa, now canonized as Saint Teresa of Kolkata, exuded.  I yearn for a peace that I imagine her simple yet great deeds brought to those she served.  Could I find that peace?  Could I find that peace and share it with those closest to me?  Lately, with how much we have going on, I didn't think so.  

Some days, especially lately, I feel like I've served until I can serve no more.  Those days are so hard to handle.  They are so hard to push through.  They fall on the same day that we have a thousand things to do or to get to.  They creep in on the same day that I see that my son is struggling, too.  

Seizures.  

Tremors.  

Aggressive behavior.  

All of that has increased for Ronan.  With how quickly our schedule changed, it has not been easy to be him.  It has not been easy for me either.  

Our schedule has been so very crazy.  The kids have been so incredibly busy.  Life is quickly zooming by, and I have not had time to tackle anything big.  I feel horrible that I also haven't been able to give my time and talents to others as I'd hoped.  I don't want to fall completely down in the dumps, so when I do feel myself getting discouraged or overwhelmed, I stop.  I breathe.  I remember that peace is out there.  I remind myself of that and reread that magnet one more time:  

Do small things with great love.  

I can do that.  

I know they won't last, but on those dark and dismal days that seem to take forever to end, I've been seeking that photo and saying that quote.  I find myself scrolling through my photo album to stop at the image of that little magnet.  I focus on the message.  It's what fuels my thoughts.  It's what drives my actions.  It's what fills me with faith.  It's also what gives me hope to keep on going.  

I'm focusing on small things now.  It's what I can do.  It's what I can handle.  It's all that I can give to others.   Small things lead to big things.  When I can get back to doing those again, I will.  But for now, I promise to remember to do small things with great love.  

xo, Cat


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