Sunday, May 7, 2017

I Will Always

My daughter pointed out to me that it's been way too long since I've added anything new to my page here.  I have tons of stuff to share but have had no time to sit, type, and post.  I'll hopefully get some time to do that soon.  Until I can, here's something short and sweet for today.  It's some thoughts from a discovery that took place a few years ago.  

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Sometimes, I can't believe the music Ronan chooses.  Other times, I realize that the songs he picks are spot on.  I shared one of those amazing discoveries before.  The one I'm sharing today was, at the time, totally random.  Thinking it was so totally random, I'd shared with some friends:

"Ronan's choice of songs tonight  Little dude's music is amazing."  

He'd picked I Will Always by The Cranberries.  And it really was amazing.  

A friend offered some insight later that night.  She said that when kids like our non-verbal children open what we believe are just random youtube clips, they are actually trying to communicating with us.  The more Ronan's done that, including with that Cranberries song he'd opened and played for me, the more I wholeheartedly agree with her.  


Thinking back to when Ronan found that song, it made me pause.  When I listened to the song by myself, it made cry.  Ronan played it for me before a rash of sickness and seizures hit him. 

I will always
Go beside you
You will always
Understand.

Knowing that I'd never leave his side while he was beginning to not feeling well must have given him comfort.  Through the illness, through the sleepless nights, and through the worrisome seizures, I never did leave his side.  I'd promised him that I wouldn't.  It took quite a few days for Ronan to bounce back, but he thankfully got better.  

Ronan's played other songs for me since then that I know are not so random.  When I hear those songs now, like when I heard I Will Always last week, I'm reminded of a few things:  

First, Ronan really has great taste in music.  
Second, he is communicating loudly and very clearly via that music.  
Finally, and most importantly, he knows that, no matter what, I will always go beside him.  

How could I not?  He has been, and remains, my biggest inspiration. 

xo, Cat





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